Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Lean on the horn
At dinner with R this evening she told me about a dance group that she goes to. It's unstructured dance that is all about losing yourself in the moment, where anything can happen and can be very emotionally intense. It sounds only a fraction less mortifying than karaoke. But it made me think.
It brought back a moment in a car in a small Norfolk town, and an exuberant friend telling me to lean on the horn: we were driving in convoy from a friend's wedding with the bride and groom ahead, waving, in the back of an open top car. I wouldn't. I couldn't. It might disturb people. It might draw attention to us. That moment is everything I'd most like to lose about myself: unnecessary restraint and self consciousness.
Perhaps I really should go and lose it all in dance! It's a dangerous and exciting thought.
And then... the contradictions. That exhilerating, emotional, wild festival wedding ended with a starlit, naked lounge in a hot tub. So why aren't the easier inhibitions simpler to break through?
It brought back a moment in a car in a small Norfolk town, and an exuberant friend telling me to lean on the horn: we were driving in convoy from a friend's wedding with the bride and groom ahead, waving, in the back of an open top car. I wouldn't. I couldn't. It might disturb people. It might draw attention to us. That moment is everything I'd most like to lose about myself: unnecessary restraint and self consciousness.
Perhaps I really should go and lose it all in dance! It's a dangerous and exciting thought.
And then... the contradictions. That exhilerating, emotional, wild festival wedding ended with a starlit, naked lounge in a hot tub. So why aren't the easier inhibitions simpler to break through?
# posted by Liz @ 9:16 pm 
